Pinewood Derby/ Homemade Bread/ Disney On Ice

This is going to be another bulk post! Things start piling up faster than I am able to blog them and then it's easier to just get them all out at once. Other wise, they might not happen.

Mason had his first pinewood derby a couple of weeks ago. He was very VERY excited about it! I can't say that Jess was any less excited. They both really enjoyed working on it together. He ended up getting an award for the most realistic looking car. As far as the race goes, not so good! Let's just say that we have not learned all the little tricks the other dads seem to have under their belts. Needless to say, he and Jess will definitely be thinking about more than looks next year! They are both very excited about it. By the time Maddox is in scouts, they will have it down!

For Christmas, my mom gave Jess and I a wheat grinder. When I opened it, I said, "What is it?!" Yeah, yeah, this brought a lot of laughs! I don't claim to be Suzy Homemaker. Anyway, last Sunday night, my sister in law, Carolyn, gave a few of us a little demonstration. So, with my food storage that has been in my closet for the last TEN years..... I made homemade wheat bread!! And.... it was delicious!! Even Maddox, my picky little eater, is loving it! You really can't beat homemade. I'm not trying to brag, I am really just super proud of myself!!
 

It's true that a little princess gets spoiled!! I would do anything for my sweet little Claire Bear. So, when Disney On Ice comes to town, we go! I was able to convince my sister Brenda to come along, since you know Jess wanted nothing to do with it! We had a great time! The best part was just watching her eyes light up. She is definitely my Disney child. The boys could have cared less that they didn't get to go. They have moved on to all the super hero movies. Claire watches all the old Disney classics. I was so shocked and happy when I realized how much she loved the movie Cinderella. There is just something about talking animals that gets to my little girl.
 

Jared

Today is what would have been, my brother in law Jared's 28Th birthday. We lost Jared on June 14, 2009. It has now been just over seven months since his death. I am not one to post or even share my inner most feelings because I do not like feeling vulnerable. But I have always regretted not posting more about Jared when this happened. I will want my kids to be able to read this and remember.

If you have ever lost someone close to you, then you know it is not easy. First, there is a feeling of shock. Then, devastation. Followed by, what do I do? Then you just get done what you have to and try to forget the reason why you are doing it all in the first place. Eventually, exhaustion kicks in and all you can do is curl up and cry. All of this can take place in a week. Then, everything is done. You've said your goodbyes, you've hugged your loved ones until your arms ache, and everyone is gone. Then, reality kicks in. The reality that you will not hear their voice again. You will not see them smile, hide from, tickle, or tackle your kids anymore. When the shower is leaking, they are not there to call. You will never get to say what you always meant to say and you will always wonder if they knew. I can't say that everyone has feelings the same as mine, but these are real.

Jared was an amazing person! I have a great love for who he was/is. Because of my son Maddox, I saw something in him that I might not other wise have seen. They are two peas in a pod. I think that makes losing him all the harder. When I look at Maddox and imagine losing him, my heart breaks for Jill, my MIL. The heart ache she must feel on a daily basis is too much for me to even think of. Jared's nick name was "Jare Bear." He got this nick name because of the grumpy face he wore. He would use it as a shield to keep people at bay. Maddox does this. But break Jared's shell, and he was the most thoughtful, caring, sweetest, funny guy. Maddox is this way. The two of them had a special bond that can't be broken. Maddox is crazy, and unique. Jared loved that about him because he saw himself in him. They would play for hours just wrestling and hiding from each other. Of course, Jared would play the same way with Mason and Claire. Only, he would carry Claire around so she could tackle the boys. I hate that he will not be here to watch them grow up. And I pray that they will always have some memory of him. The pictures of him are few and far between because he did not love the camera. I think that if I was not such an annoying picture taker, we would not have any.

I am so grateful to have had Jared in my life. I know this sounds weird, but I have had a dream of him since he died and he was happy. Really happy. He looked good. Younger, smiling, and truly happy. He told me that he knew it was all true and that he was doing what he needed to. He said that he was really happy and that he loved me. I have never had a dream that felt so real before. And trust me, I dream a lot. Since that dream, I have really felt at peace. I know that we will get to see Jared again. I know that he is doing everything possible to make that happen. And I know that he knows how much I loved him. This life is always changing. You never know when someone will leave you for good. Don't take advantage of the people in your life. Tell them that you love them every chance you get and don't let little issues get in the way. It's just not worth it.

I just wanted to post this video of Jared again. You will see the "Jare Bear" glare in there, but you will also see his face light up. He was a good man with a very loving heart.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We love you Jared! Happy Birthday!

ABC Tag

It's been a while since I have done a tag, but I had fun reading my friends. So, I decided to do it! Although, she didn't actually tag me so I guess I can't really call it that. Anyway, if you feel like doing it, I would love to read yours!

A- Age: 28
B- Bed size: King
C- Chore you hate: Grocery shopping! Ick!
D- Dog's name: Don't have one!
E- Essential start your day item: Cereal! Always Cereal!
F- Favorite color: Red
G- Gold or silver: Gold & Silver
H- Height: 5'6"
I- I am: jumbled
J- Job: Domestic Engineer
K- Kids: (3) Mason, Maddox, & Claire
L- Living arrangements: Mostly messy! But, it's a home! :-)
M- Mom's name: Sheila
N- Nickname: Liz, Lizard breath, Lizbian, Little-bit, & Lizzy (Can you tell that I have brothers?)
O- Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Never
P- Pet peeve: People asking me for money...or having their freaking kids ask me for money in the store parking lot. UGH! (Stole this one from my friend!) I couldn't agree more!!
Q- Quote from a movie: "She gets a letter from Wally, she blubbers. She writes a letter to Wally, she bluuuu-bers! So, get out your hats and rain coats folks! We're having rain for twice a day, for two years! Oh Wally, come back!" Saturdays Warriors baby!! Yeah, I watched it a lot as a kid!
R- Right or left handed: Right
S- Siblings: (13) Chuck, Debbie, Eric, Trevor, Kevin, Jason, Russell, Stephen, Mary, Rachel, Diane, Brenda, & Sarah
T- Time you wake up: 7:00am (Do I stay up? Not unless I have to!)
U- Unique thing about your car: There is about a 5 inch scratch on the back from me being an idiot! The tail gate was open while it was in the garage and I opened the garage door. When it opened, it left me a nice big scratch! This happened about a month after I got it!
V- Vegetable you hate: ALL
W- Ways you run late: When my hair is giving me issues. I have a certain place I want it all to go and when it doesn't, I'm not a happy camper!
X- X-rays you've had: wrist, teeth, and thumb!
Y- Yummy food you make: Pumpkin and Monster cookies
Z- Zoo favorite: Snack bar! :-)

Kids, New Year, & My Birthday

Okay, this post is going to have a little randomness to it. There are just a few little things I wanted to post about. First, I just wanted to say that the reason I decided to go private was so that I could make my posts directed more to my kids. I felt like I was leaving a lot of things out of my writing because I didn't know who was reading my blog. Since I turn my blog into a book, I really wanted to be able to put a little more detailed information in. So for those of you that have asked or were wondering, there you have it! :-)

I am always amazed at how much my boys love their sister. They really watch out for her and I always find them playing with her and doing what they can to keep her happy. But the times it really stands out, is when she is in trouble with Jess and I. She is VERY tender hearted and can't take the slightest bit of anger in our voices. Immediately, her face puckers up and tears start flowing. Well, Maddox has gotten in the habit of hugging her, patting her back, and saying, "It's okay Claire. I love you!" It is the sweetest thing! But it's not only Maddox. If for some reason she has caused a problem with Maddox and he is mad at her, she will run over to Mason and hide. I use to worry a lot about having a girl. Now, not so much! With two older brothers that love her as much as they do, what's to worry about??

After Christmas, we took the kids up to Provo to stay at my parents townhouse. After 9 1/2 years of marriage, Jess finally saw the place! We had a great a time. We were able to see my friends Dawn and Jacque, giving me some much needed play time, ate out WAY too much, and spent most of our time just trying to be with the kids. Which in our family, can get really expensive! I swear, we can't just spend time with out spending money. My family has a new hobby. And when I say family, I mean all of us!! I am a mother of three and I just found out how fun Legos can be. I know, some of you are probably thinking that I am crazy, but it really is a good time and the kids love it. Besides, look what we built!!
 

We left Provo on New Year's Eve and drove to Cedar where we were able to spend the evening with Jess' sister Necia and a few of his cousins. The next day, we visited both of Jess' grandparents and were also able to visit Jared's grave site. It was the first time we had been there since they put the head stone on. I don't know why, but something about seeing a stone there made it a little more real and little more hard. But we had a wonderful New Year's day with Jess' family and were grateful for the time there.

Well, I turned 28 on the 5Th! I have to say, it was a wonderful birthday. As you get older, you don't really expect to have great birthdays anymore. But for me, all it takes is a loving husband, great family, and wonderful friends. I was so happy to get all the text messages, calls, and facebook posts! It's amazing what technology can do for a birthday. :-) But really, Jess spoiled me rotten! He had taken the kids to the store the night before and let them each pick out a card for me and well as one of my favorite things. I loved seeing how their cards matched them. Claire was a little too excited about hers and ended up bringing it to me when I got home the night before my birthday. Honestly, I think she wanted the candy. She gave me Sugar Babies, Mason gave me a six pack of Diet Pepsi, and Maddox gave me the small candy coated Cadbury Eggs. All favorites of mine! As if that wasn't enough for me, Jess also gave me the perfect card, money to spend, and a massage! Which, I have to say, he is one smart man! He booked the massage for me already and has the kids taken care of. What more can a girl ask for?? Also, I have a wonderful mother-in-law that took me to lunch and then kept my kids so Jess could take me to dinner and a movie. The day couldn't have been more perfect! So far, 28 is feeling good! :-)

Me on my 28Th birthday with the people I love most in this world!! :-)